I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
