I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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