I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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