You made me cry and you don't even care
Plan B is the new Plan A
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
