Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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