I'm going to jail i love you
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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