would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
