Got a toothbrush?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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