I'm so fucking centered right now
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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