exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
