I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize