I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
