i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
