Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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