i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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