so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
