I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
