who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
