What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
