just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
