I am puke
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
