I wanna passion pit in your ass
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Mom said you looked used
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
