My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
