i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize