If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
