so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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