whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
