dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My ass is underappreciated
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
