Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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