Porn is love you can see.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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