Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
