He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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