i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
