You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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