morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i think im in europe. pls send help
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
