the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Farmville is her only friend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize