In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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