why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
