I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
