I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
