New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
