Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
