I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize