and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
