he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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