why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
