You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
