Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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