Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
