The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
