the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
