do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
