Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
