Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You made out with two different species that night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
