I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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