That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
never play flip cup with pint glasses
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
