I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize