Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
