Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
