based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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