I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
