I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize